All I ask in life is to be surrounded by people that love and care for me. I feel some kind of way right now. I don’t know why. I feel like sometimes I am alone, and by myself. You know I appreciate the people that do care. You find out who your real friends are when certain situations go down. I know the new technology, and everything is a lot easier for people to use. But sometimes I don’t think that people don’t realize how insensitive a ‘text-message’ can be. LOL! It doesn’t hurt to pick up a phone for 2 seconds or 2 minutes just to say “Hi, how are ya?” or just call to check in to see how someone is. And NO I AM NOT PMS’in. LOL! I am perfectly fine. I just sit back and notice a lot that’s all. And I am not really a confrontational person. LOL! So I just sit back and take it all in.
Sometimes I feel like a fill in friend… meaning; I’m just there until what you want is free. LOL! And when they are done with me or don’t NEED me. I am left in a corner until they are ready to play with me again. Anywho, it’s supposed to snow tomorrow. I wanna be snowed in with someone 
any takers????? LOL!
Every now and then I just browse the net and look at old videos. I came across this song. I can’t believe this song came out in 1986. I was only 6 years old. But I always had a love for this song. I really love it. I can really appreciate the words, and her voice was incredible. I had so much respect for her. Music is far from what it used to be. It’s crazy. I know more songs back when I was growing up then I do now. The music now I just listen to the beats. But the old music was real music. You would listen to more than just the instrumentals. You could and would actually listen to the words, and most likely can relate to the songs. This is one of my favs by her. I know it’s not a super happy song. LOL! But I love her voice, she was truly talented. Enjoy!
Happy New Year!! I had a lot of fun this New Years. I bought the new years in with close friends. Good times. As you can see I decided to wear a black dress (yes always black lol). When I saw this dress in the store I did not realize that in the front on the sides it was see thru. LOL! I don’t think I came off 2 raunchy. LOL! But Happy New Year! I hope everyone has a prosperous and blessed year!
RanDUMB Rants
You know sometimes you need to detox people and things from your life. And what better time to do it that then the New Year?
If you know the berries on the tree can make you sick. Why do you continue to pick them off the tree and eat them?
Any who, I have come to the realization that my best friend and I will never be what we used to be. I didn’t feel comfortable. I saw him yesterday, and practically ran out of the house. It just didn’t feel right. And the sad part is I don’t think he gives two rats asses. I don’t want to be in anyone’s life that doesn’t want me there or the friendship. I think I have gotten the point finally. Or have I?
I think its for the best. I suppose…
I don’t like it when people give you little nicknames like we are in a relationship or have something. I got off the phone with one of my male friends and when we departed off the phone he says “Ok talk to you later shnookie”. Eeeew… I don’t like you like that to give me a nickname. LOL!
Sometimes people can be an addiction.
Getting ready for another exciting semester at school. Time to regain my focus and that means focusing on me!
This semester I am taking a photography class. I am so excited! Photography is one of my biggest hobbies. Yay! 
My mom told me something that really made me feel good. I was beating myself up and questioning myself. And she said sometimes someone rejects you because they aren’t happy with themselves, and know that they don’t deserve you. That shit made me feel a hellalot betta. (Yes I said hellalot) LOL!
I want some new boots. Im tired of wearing these same (3) pair of boots in rotation. LOL! And I know all of my friends are 2. I need some versatility in my life. LOL! I need something different. I am kinda tired of the slouch boot. FINALLY! Lol!
Seperation gains Appreciation??? Is this true???
I got this ice box where my heart used to be © Omarion
I want a man I can love that’s all
Who could love me back the request is small
I need him to be with me in his free time
But who also wouldn’t mind hearing wedding bells chime
I want a man I can lavish with affection
Who would in return show some devotion
I need him to be a man who can stand all alone
But doesn’t feel exactly whole when left on his own
I want a man I can pamper and please
Who can hear with his heart and me truly see
I want him to be always so proud of me
Who wouldn’t fail to see how proud I would be
I want a man with which to grow old
To sit on that front porch rocker if I’m not being too bold
I need him to still get to me as the years go pass
Who remembers on country lanes to still run out of gas
I want a man with which to rock all night
Who remembers I still need to be held tight
I need him to use his body to show me his love too
Who would give me his all and never just make to
I want a man who knows actions speak louder than words
Who knows home is most important just like the birds
I need a man who speaks through the little things
Who would make me so happy my heart it would sing
I want a man who has my best in his heart
Who knows we’re no good whenever we’re apart
I need a man to protect me from the evils of this world
Who can open his arms and allow me in to curl
Have I met you already or is our time to come still
Is there anyone out there who can meet my needs and will
Would my eyes recognize you as the one that I need
Would my mind see you and let my heart take the lead
Are you the man I need in my life
Would you take me as yours and make me your wife
Are you someone who already has a name and a face
Are you waiting for me out there some place???
*Come and find me damn it! lol! Its getting cold out! I want to be held in the winter months* lol!
I just can’t get out of this funk. I am really happy that my classes are over though. I am so excited, and I can’t wait to see what grades I received this semester. Being that it has been so long since I have been out of school. I think I did pretty well this semester. As much as I wanted to give up, I never did one time. Other than that. I feel like shit. LOL! I don’t even know why. Sometimes I feel like I get into these funks that are hard to shake. I am just sad for some reason. I don’t know what it is. I went to church yesterday, and received an excellent lesson. I don’t know where these feelings are coming from. I just feel like sometimes I am all alone. I hate blogging and being depressing, but this is just how I am feeling lately. You know its like you try to keep doing the right things, and you try to be so positive. But these negative thoughts just keep popping back up in my head.
My sister is in the hospita
l. She has been in and out of the hospital for the last 2 weeks. And I just feel so sorry for her right now. She has been thru so much in her short period of time being on this earth. I wish I could take some of her pain away. I love her so much. And will continue to pray for her. Please keep me and my family in your prayers
Have you ever met that person that you get along with so well? You are so compatible. You get along; you can laugh, talk, and cry around this person. They are the “Right” person for you, but wrong timing? This is how I feel. But sometimes I feel like I can be like my own enemy. I love being around this person. But sometimes I feel like I will and probably are messing the friendship up with my insecurities. I know what I’m doing. And I know how I feel. I’m just so afraid of getting hurt and being lied to again. A lot of the times I will search, and search for something negative to happen to me before it happens. I have a pretty terrible track record with men. So I just feel like when I meet someone its 2 good 2 be true, of the bat. I know I have ruined relationships because of this. I think I need to deal with my own insecurities before I try to be in a relationship with someone. We have a lot of history within the short period of time we have had dealings. A lot has happened. Some good and some bad. But at the end of the day we have remained friends thru out all of this. No matter how much I get on his nerves or him getting on mine, we are still there for each other if need be. I just hope that he sees what I see. I don’t care who sees this shit or not. Cuz I have been dealing with some crazy MoFos in the last couple of months. Some looked, and had gay mannerisms; others keep fucking calling, texting, then back to back calling . DAMN! What the hell is up with these new Bitch Made Ninjas? But anywho… What do you do in situations like this; Right person… Wrong timing? *rubs chin and shrugs*
Uugggh… Gewd Mawning I suppose *side-eye*. Anywho, this morning I’m up at 5:20 to get ready for work, and I am dead tired. I didn’t go to sleep until 12:00. I didn’t even realize it was that late when I went down. I got caught up in the whole Reality Show dealy. LOL! This is nothing any different from what I normally do. So I’m rushing to get ready and get out on time. I get dressed and run outside I get to the car and I think that I am about to take a step onto the drive way. Well I thought different. I was stepping into a whole bunch of fucking mud! I slipped, and fell to the side. I caught myself with my hand. I was so mad. But thank GAWD; I didn’t get my clothes dirty at all. Just my hand that went into the mud :-)
. So I get to work, and there are mouse droppings on my fucking desk! Wtf? Then I get to work and see that people are really petty today. LOL! But its kewl. You are just coworkers not friends. LOL! But its all good in the hood. I hope this day will turn out to be a lot better. I have a headache as well. Just had to get all that negativity out. But I feel better now. I don’t want to curse anybody out today
Well I am back at work today on this dreary Thursday. I hate long drawn out work weeks. Well I called out yesterday, which was Veterans day. I just needed a day where I can just lay around and do absolutely nothing. I call these days off “Mental Health Days”. I called out of work about 15 minutes before i was supposed to be going to work. But I needed it; with school and work getting on my nerves. I really needed this day. It was very relaxing. I saw an old friend. I hadn’t seen in awhile. I had fun. It felt good to be around someone to take my mind off my troubles and stress of the everyday struggles. I just laughed and smiled the whole day. But anywho, I hope this day will speed up. Im over it already. LOL! I am ready to go home. *Yawns*
So is it true? My friend said I hadn’t been blogging in a while. I let him know that I was happy. And he said “Well you can still talk about you being happy”. This is so true. We always focus on the negativity. But when things are fantabulous we do not put the same energy into letting people know what is going like we would the latest gossip or rumor we heard. I will not be negative. I hate pouring all my negativity out. LOL! I am happy, and truly blessed to wake up and to still have good health, family, and a job. So for me I guess No News Is Good News!!
Ok so I went out Halloween night. I originally didn’t want to come out at all. It was raining all day. And I had been kind of down lately. But was super excited about dressing up and being a fool for one night . I have been so stressed and tired when work and school is up in the evenings. I deserved to get out and have some fun. Me and one of my very good friends decided to go to Fells Point. Well we arrived at Fells Point around 10:00 it was kind of dead. So we decided to head to Federal Hill. We went there last year 2. I had a lot of fun there. In the past years I am always a damn cat or a sexy something. Well cats have 9 lives, and I thought it was time to lay the cat to rest. LOL! I love going down there and seeing the different creative ideas people have. Well as you can see I was a nerd. I think I was a damn good nerd. I already had flat shoes and the knee-high socks. So really all I had to buy were these damn expensive ass suspenders from American Apparel So to add to my nerdy look… I added the bandaids in the middle of the frame and stuck some tissue up my shorts to make it look like I didn’t know it was there. Believe it or not. People actually thought that the tissue was stuck. LOL!! I know I look sexx-aay!
